Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Interracial Relationships: “Live and let Live”

Recently actress Amanda Bynes had a bit of controversy when she decided to take to her twitter account to make it known that she prefers “chocolate over vanilla.” As in men! Apparently, her comments caused quite the stir, with quite a few of her followers. Here is some of what she said; “It’s amazing how good it feels when someone knows how to love your body! I am having withdrawals from a certain guy lol,” she tweeted. “So turns out i prefer chocolate over vanilla. interesting.” Once twitter followers started to speak out against her preference. Amanda replied: “If any girls are mad that I like ‘chocolate’ they need to seriously get OVER it,” she again tweeted. “Sorry you can’t have all the chocolate for yourself. …So quit hating on me because I’m vanilla and I like chocolate.”

The upset kind of made me think about interracial dating. Honestly Ive never really thought about it because being from Seattle, Washington, most of the city is bi-racial. It's normal to me, it doesn't bother me and i actually appreciate it because i feel like we're coming close to world peace. (smile) Being that i don't understand peoples issue with interracial dating. I've decided that i would help someone who is in an interracial relationship cope:

1. Make sure you are mentally and emotionally stable enough to deal with what will come. Most of the world, does not approve. Which means they will do everything in their power to break your spirits. People will be people and don't hold them to any higher standard than that.

2. Surround yourself with people who tolerate diversity. A lot of people say they are okay when it comes to dealing with people of other cultures and skin colors. Most are. However 9 out of 10 times that doesn't include interracial relationships. Make sure you surround yourself with people who have a tolerance for unconditional LOVE. It will make you feel more comfortable about your decision and with your mate.

3. Avoid the media, at all costs. We all watch TV and enjoy doing so, just make sure you focus on your love for the person your with. Don't get caught up in the media because much it is heightened stereotypes. It can and it will start confusion.

4. Prepare for some family members and even friends, to not be comfortable with your relationships. They say 'opinions are like a**holes, every body's got one'. Make that is your motto. Don't expect or assume that the people you love the most will be accepting of your new found love. Prepare for several 'joking' racial slurs and strong opinions. However, in order to deal with these issues talk to your mate before hand about their feelings. It will help make the confrontations easier to deal with.

5. The people that don't know you, don't matter. People will stare its natural, get over it! But don't stress yourself trying to figure out what other people think of you. Whether or not you've sold out to your race or what ever else people can come up with. Focus on your happiness. Worrying about the stares is pointless!

6.Make sure that you keep a open dialogue about anything that could help your relationship sustain in the midst of other peoples ignorance. Even if its a slick comment someone made at work. Express it to your mate and communicate. Just in case, your mate is ever in a similar situation he/she has already processed the thought, you guys have discussed it and worked out how to handle it.

(Keep in mind, these are just my common sense rules.. I say “Live and let Live.”)

1 comment:

Kayla said...

Oh me oh my.Funny thing, my friend and I were just talking about how hard it is to maintain an interracial relationship. When it's really just another relationship. You touched a couple of our points. Good Job!