Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Portrait of Reflecting Thoughts
Dude, like sometimes i dont know where ive been, whether im coming or going or if i'll get there. I AM one of those souls who stands in a room full of people who love me & i still feel out of place. Not in the sense of knowing who i am but in the sense of understanding why i'm placed where and with whom im placed, when im place there. There's an explanation for that spiritually speaking, i'm sure. Life is amazing how it's pushes your heart out through your head and makes you fight for every vessel that flows in the midst of it all. Not only am i fighting for my own sanity but i'm fighting to help make those who see and experience my walk sane. If Sane is even sane anymore.
This photo is something i done out of boredom. When i get bored sometimes i just sit and take self-portraits of myself via my old blackberry. (I so need a camera) I'm learning to capture moments in my life and thoughts that i can look back on one day and say "That was when...." I've always hated pictures but since my grandma passed 1/11/2011 i'm learning to embrace every God given moment, second & hour. I take the pictures and i save them to my email, i honestly don't really have a plan besides reflections.
At this moment i was reflecting on how i planned to conquer some of my dreams & my impact on people. As i wondered what would be said of me when i die? My Ipod shuffled throught Frank Sinatra and straight to Gnarls Barley 'Crazy' many of you know this song. But i'm sure none knows what exactly it does to my spirit when i heard it. Not to go unmentioned CeeLo's voice which gives me chills every time he opens it. Either way, all my life people have 'jokingly' called me crazy for my thoughts, actions, re-actions and everything in between. However when i here the following;
My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done
Maybe I'm crazy ........
My mind flashes and i began to reflect on when i lost my mind which was February of 1997. The day of the week is a bit blurry but i remember what was taking place. Maybe i'll share on a later date. Those very words make me wish i wrote this Fuking song. Because i didn't i'm glad someone read my mail when i was only a $1.25. It forces me to reflect on the people who growing up inspired every-bit of who i am today! And in the midst of AMERICAN (To many "BLACK") HISTORY MONTH, I BOW & HONOR the list of names that could go on & on...BEcause You were crazy!